How to maintain hometown friendships while at uni

New city, new flat, new people. Here's how to keep your oldest friendships going strong while you build a whole new life at uni.

Moving away for uni is a big moment. Maybe you've flown in from Lagos, Delhi or Hong Kong, or perhaps you've swapped Newcastle for London on a four-hour train. Either way, the people who've known you since Year 7 are suddenly a long way away, and the group chat is doing a lot of heavy lifting…

It's completely normal to worry about drifting apart. The good news? Friendships that have lasted this long are usually tougher than you think. They just need a bit of a plan. Here's how to keep in touch with friends and family back home, without missing out on everything happening right here.

1. How to keep in touch with friends and family, day to day

Staying in touch with friends doesn't have to mean a two-hour FaceTime every night. Little and often beats big and rare, every time.

Try:

•      Voice notes. Quicker than typing, more personal than a text, and you can send one on the walk to your 9am.

•      A standing call. Same day, same time, every week or fortnight. Sunday evenings work for most people (nobody has plans, everyone has the Sunday scaries).

•      Watch-alongs. Stream the same film or episode and chat over it. It's the next best thing to sharing a sofa.

•      Photo dumps. A blurry pic of your first attempt at a stir fry says a lot more than "uni's good thanks".Living in a different time zone from home? Add a world clock to your phone and find your overlap window. Your morning coffee might be their evening wind-down, and that can easily become your thing.

2. Plan visits (both ways)

Nothing beats ACTUALLY being in the same room. Get something in the diary early, because "we should meet up soon" has a habit of turning into "wait, it's been six months?"

Think about:

•      Reading week and the holidays. You're probably heading home anyway, so line up your catchups before you arrive.

•      Inviting friends to stay. Showing someone round your new city is one of the best ways to make them part of it.

•      Meeting halfway. At uni in different cities? Pick somewhere in the middle for a day trip.

•      Booking early. Train and coach tickets are usually cheaper the further ahead you book, and a 16-25 Railcard takes a third off most rail fares in the UK.

For international residents, a trip home might only happen once or twice a year, so make it count. Plan a few catchups in advance, so you're not spending the whole visit trying to squeeze everyone in.

Having friends to stay at Scape? Guests are signed in and out at reception with valid ID, so remind them to bring some.

3. Balance old friends with new uni life

Here's the tricky bit. Spend every evening on the phone to home, and you might miss the flat dinner that turns into your first proper uni friendship. Ignore the group chat completely, and you'll come back at Christmas to a load of in-jokes you don't get.

You don't have to pick a side. You just need a balance.

•      Say yes to things here. Events, flat nights and societies are where new friendships start, especially in the first few weeks.

•      Don't keep score. Some weeks you'll be busy, some weeks they will. Long friendships can handle a quiet patch.

•      Bring them into it. Tell your home friends about the new people in your life, and the other way round. Your two worlds don't have to stay separate.

•      Be honest. If you're struggling to keep up, say so. "Uni's been mad, but I miss you" goes a long way.

At Scape, events run every month, from welcome parties to pop-ups, and the Scape Student app shows what's on in your building. So there's always something to say yes to.

It's also fine if some friendships change. People grow in different directions, and that's nobody's fault. The ones that matter most tend to find their way.

4. Dealing with homesickness

Homesickness hits almost everyone at some point, and not always when you expect it. Sometimes it's week one. Sometimes it's a random Tuesday in February when you'd do anything for a home-cooked meal.

A few things that genuinely help:

•      Make your room feel like home. Photos, a blanket from your old bedroom, your favourite snacks from back home.

•      Build a routine. Regular meals, decent sleep and somewhere to be each day give your week a shape.

•      Get out of your room. Sitting in one of Scape’s communal lounges with a coffee counts. So does turning up to an event on your own.

•      Cook a taste of home. Even better if you cook it for your flatmates.

•      Go easy on the scrolling. Watching your home friends' stories on repeat can make it feel worse, not better.

If it isn't getting better, or it's starting to affect your sleep, studies or mood, talk to someone.

Your uni's wellbeing or student support team is there for exactly this. At Scape, reception is staffed 24/7 if you just need a friendly face, if you’d prefer to sit down and have a chat we also have our Open Door sessions for you to drop in to. No pressure.

Final thoughts

Moving away for uni doesn't mean leaving your oldest friends behind. With a few voice notes, a standing call and a visit in the diary, staying in touch with friends back home can fit around your new life rather than compete with it.

Give yourself time, say yes to the new stuff, and trust that the friendships worth keeping will keep. Who knows? By graduation, your home friends and your uni friends might all be in the sa